Too Caught Up In My Own World...

6th Oct... a veri impt date...
Cos i realized hw self-centered i am..
I hav always known im self-centered...
Bt nv realised hw much...

Im so so oblivious to things going on around me...
All the changes...
N hw much i hav neglected e ppl around me...
Cos i nv cared...
N i thot im caring enuf...

Aft -- a fren sms me e truth bout wad happened last year...
Something tat means e world to her...
She didnt wan to tell me then...
N i nv bothered to ask again...
I simply accepted wad she told me...
I felt like knocking my head against e wall when i heard tat...
Nt cos its shocking news...
Bt cos i realised wad a fren i am...
Nt being there for her...
---

Nite -- i was worrying bout 2 ppl at e same time...
My bf n bel...
I was toking to bel on msn...
When bf called...
N i realised tat i was so busy trying to keep up wif 3 conversations on msn...
Tat i forgot to reply his sms...
Making him worry...
Then i decided stop chatting on msn to tok to bf...
Bt then there r things i cant tell bf over phone...
So i toked veri little...
He ended call abruptly...
I returned to msn...
Found tat bel was upset...
Worried bout her...
Started to cheer her up...
Then realised tat bf hav yet to call back...
Started to worry tat he's upset wif me too...
Smsed him...
Changed my nick...
"My world is collapsing...i love u my dear...n i luv u my darling...pls pls pls..."
Hoping that bel n bf will see n nt be upset wif me anymore...
Cos they reali mean e world to me...
At tat moment, sis came into room n started chatting wif me...
Ashamed to say...
I was onli half-listening to my sis...
Cos i was worried bout bel n bf...
Nt long after, bel came online again...
M was over e moon...
Bel okie le...
N soon bf came online too...
Found out tat he ended call nt cos he's angry...
I practically leap up in happiness...
Started to chat happily wif ppl on msn again...
Bt i still responded to my sis in short replies...
Sis gave up trying to tok to me...
That was when i decided i had enuf n said gdnitez to ppl on msn...
Went to bed n chatted wif sis till we fell asleep...

Well, at least i managed to make everybody no longer upset wif me at e end of e day...
Thats wad i thot last nite...
Ya...

I lost count of e no. of times i hoped...
Hoped tat i am a main character of a tv drama...
Cos then i can see clearly from an outsider's point of view...
Ppl around u, they noe u better than yerself...
U noe tat?

N ystd, a lot of my beliefs were proved wrong...
I believed that i am able to cope wif many things at e same time...
Bt wrong, its a fact tat u cant...
Cant put bf, frenz n family, all at e top of my priority list...
U hav to choose...
N im having prob wif my priority list...
Everyone wans to be 1st on mine...
Hw do i place them??

By rite, family shd be 1st...
Frenz 2nd...
Bf 3rd...
Bt... i dunno...
If u look at e way i did things ystd...
I had cared for bel first...
Bf second...
N my sis last...

I dunno...all im trying to do is make everyone in tis world happi...
My nick on msn nw...
Theres tis line:
"As long as u r happi, nothing else matters..."
Its nt for my bf alone...
Its for everyone in tis world...
N i actuali wrote it for my fren, ql...
Bt i feel tat everyone shd noe it...
Bt then again...
Tis line aso makes ppl self-fish...
At times, we shd think of others too...
Put ourselves in others' shoes, think for them...

Okie, wad am i toking about nw??
Contradicting...
Nvm... shall end tis entry nw...
Bt last bt nt least, i wan to congratulate u for being able to finish reading tis super long n brain-cracking entry...
I think i think too much le...
Bt i will still continue to think too much...
Cos i like it...
Haha =P
Adios!! (Goodbye)
Reflect upon my entry hor!
N pls pls, leave comments on my tagboard cos i wan to noe hw u all think...
Bout me...
Or bout tis entry...
Or bout hw lame n naggy i am aso can lah~
Haha~~